What IS mindfulness?

“A mind that is full of conclusions is a dead mind, it is not a living mind. A living mind is a free mind, learning, never concluding.” ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

In 2005, the writer David Foster Wallace delivered the commencement speech to the graduating class at Kenyon College. This rare public address outlined Wallace’s outlook on life and shared a clever anecdote illustrating the hidden influences that deaden our minds and warp our perception of reality:

“There are these two young fish swimming along, and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says, ‘Morning, boys, how’s the water?’ And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes, ‘What the hell is water?’”

Wallace’s fish story underscores the importance of cultivating present moment awareness and sensitivity in one’s environment, a concept often referred to as mindfulness. To better understand this concept, let’s explore what we mean by “meditation” and “mindfulness:”

The word meditate means “to ponder, to employ the mind in contemplation.” It involves observing your structure of thought without judgment or attachment. Mindfulness, on the other hand, is actively noticing new things about what you think you know, including yourself. It’s a way of being that takes in what’s encountered in the present moment with an open and engaged spirit.

These ideas form the core of my book, “Unwinding Want: Using Your Mind to Escape Your Thoughts,” which explores how we can cultivate this type of awareness in our daily lives.

Unlike fish, humans possess a thinking mind—both a blessing and a burden. While this capacity allows us to ponder abstract concepts and creatively express ourselves, it can also trap us in cycles of biases, judgment, and rumination.

The “water” in Wallace’s story represents our conditioning and the automatic interpretations our minds make (predictive processing). Mindfulness, then, becomes the sensitivity to this programming and the unwinding of it. This examination of ingrained patterns is crucial because humans can easily get lost in their own minds. We can become trapped in negative thinking, overwhelmed by stress, or disconnected from our immediate experiences.

For instance, as mindfulness deepens, we might naturally become aware of our tendency to reach for our phones out of boredom or anxiety. This awareness often leads to a spontaneous shift in how we engage with our time and attention, without the need for conscious deliberation.

Mindfulness isn’t about achieving constant bliss or eliminating all negative thoughts. Instead, it’s about developing the ability to observe our mental processes without being deceived by them. The real value lies in learning when and how to use our thinking minds, rather than being used by them.

While Wallace’s insights remain relevant, the need for mindfulness has only grown in our modern world. As we navigate the increasingly complex landscape of the 21st century, the rapid pace of technological change, information overload, and societal pressures makes cultivating mindfulness ever more crucial.

However, it’s important to understand the ultimate goal of mindfulness. It isn’t to simply allow your thoughts to wander aimlessly like passing clouds. Nor is it to consciously interrogate and control every aspect of your behavior. Rather, it’s about developing a deep, intuitive awareness that naturally shapes your attention and actions.

Through consistent meditation—observing and contemplating your structure of thought—you gradually retrain your mind, reshaping maladaptive patterns of perception and behavior. This aligns with the Taoist concept of “wu-wei” or “effortless action,” where one acts in harmony with the natural flow of life.

In this sense, mindfulness is less about actively choosing how you “swim” through life’s waters, and more about cultivating a state of being that allows you to move through the world with greater clarity and ease. As you become more attuned to the “water” around you, your actions begin to flow naturally from this heightened awareness.

This is the essence of mindfulness and the profound challenge Wallace presents: to awaken to the water enveloping us, not to control it, but to harmonize with it. In this awakening, we don’t consciously choose each stroke, but rather find ourselves navigating life’s currents with greater freedom and understanding.

By learning to ask “What is water?” in our own experiences, as Wallace suggests, we open ourselves to the kind of effortless action described in Taoism. This heightened awareness, explored in “Unwinding Want,” naturally gives rise to a richer, more conscious way of living—allowing us to move through life with greater clarity, compassion, aliveness, and love.

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Stay passionate!