Meditation for thinkers.
“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” ~ Pema Chödrön
Pema Chödrön’s words offer a vital insight: our challenges in life are not obstacles, but essential teachers, revealing lessons we need to learn. This perspective contrasts with popular views of meditation, which often prioritize finding calm to avoid confronting life’s more difficult truths. True meditation, however, brings us face-to-face with those truths, inviting us to observe discomfort and allow it to teach us.
I’ve never considered myself a meditation teacher. My approach doesn’t focus on formal practices or rituals; instead, since childhood, I’ve engaged in a kind of meditation centered on deep contemplation. Without realizing it, I would spend hours reflecting, analyzing, and unraveling the complexities of life—more captivated by questioning than by achieving a quiet mind. In a sense, I was always practicing a form of meditation—not one that aimed to clear my thoughts, but one that leaned into them, unafraid of uncomfortable truths.
This style of contemplation—what some call “analytical meditation”—is the foundation of my book, Unwinding Want, and my work with both individuals and organizations. Rather than offering comforting answers, I encourage people to engage in an honest examination of their desires and motivations, urging them to confront their beliefs with curiosity and intellectual rigor. Through this process, they begin to see their unsettling feelings as signposts pointing toward a deeper understanding of themselves and their environment.
The core principle behind this approach is that true self-knowledge doesn’t arise from mere acceptance or from turning away from the world, but from engaging fully with it. In contrast to methods that prioritize quietude, Unwinding Want encourages a grounded focus that directly confronts discomfort. This process of examining one’s feelings and wants becomes an exercise in radical honesty, fostering not only self-awareness but a more authentic connection to the world around us. In our fast-paced, distraction-filled world, it reminds us that true growth comes not from evading or rationalizing our challenges, but from learning to sit with them—to observe, understand, and ultimately transcend them.
In the end, Unwinding Want encourages a shift from seeking temporary comfort to embracing the full spectrum of our experience. It reminds us that our deepest desires are often concealed beneath layers of assumptions and habitual thinking, and that by using the principles of analytical meditation, we can uncover these truths and live more authentically. It’s a call to move beyond distraction and engage with the present moment—even when it’s uncomfortable—as a means of cultivating lasting insight and transformation.
If you’re drawn to the benefits of meditation but find yourself resistant to traditional practices—the mantras, the cushions, the breath-counting exercises—Unwinding Want offers a different path: one of deep intellectual engagement that transforms contemplation into a natural part of daily life, making meditation accessible to even the most analytical minds.
Note: Here’s a review from David J. Berndt, a thoughtful reader who describes himself as a “thinker.”
“Unwinding Want by Tom Asacker is a thought-provoking exploration of how our desires—our "wants"—are often not what they seem. Many of these wants stem from our conditioning—whether it's family, cultural, religious, or media influences—which is why we need to "unwind" them. They are not me!
As someone who has been reading about mindfulness and meditation for much of my life, I’ve always understood intellectually that we are not our thoughts. But here's the catch: I’m a thinker. My thinking is both my bliss and my misery. It’s a two-sided coin. I love considering myself a deep thinker, and honestly, it’s hard to let that go.
Despite exploring various mindfulness practices, I’ve realized that I’ve been searching for something to help me stop constantly thinking. What stands out about Asacker's writing is how he makes these concepts not only intellectually clear but also viscerally understood. His style allowed me to finally feel that that voice in my head is not me. I came to realize that my normal thinking is just a voice—a tool my mind uses to keep me safe and comfortable—but it's not actually me.
I am not my thoughts! But then, who am I?
To find the answer to that question, you’ll have to read the book—or listen to the audiobook. I highly recommend you do. What sets Unwinding Want apart is how it offers a practical roadmap for you to disentangle yourself from your conditioned wants and find what truly matters and what you genuinely WANT!”
Stay passionate!
